December ICLW

Welcome!!!!

I'm going to apologize in advance for the "lame-ness" if you will of my ICLW post this month...I didn't even stop to think of how busy I would be this week!  For all of you who are new to my blog, please see old ICLW posts *and check out my "authorbiography" tab, plus "strategery' tab for the most up to date info on where we're at right now.

For those of you that don't know, I work as a store designer for a major housewares/furniture retailer...and during this time of the year, I feel nothing short (ha) of an elf.  Let's just say, when I clean my ears after showering, I have glitter in them, and no, I'm not a stripper.  So I've been busting my little elf behind at work, leaving no energy to give you guys an appropriate ICLW post.  So sorry.  Instead, lets share some favorite holiday movies and quotes!!! I love the classics, but I gotta say, ELF is my go to- one of my favorites.

Some of my favorite lines:

"Francisco...thats fun to say, Francisco...Francisco..."

"You sit on a throne of lies!"

and of course... "You're an angry elf..."

I could go on and on...but its your turn! What are your favorite holiday movies and quotes?

Happy Holidays to Everyone!!! & For all of you TTCers...may your stockings be filled with Babydust. :)

Cautious Celebration!

Quick 6AM Pajama Post:

My dear friend from our "Armed & Dangerous" forum over at 2ww, is PREGNANT!!!! Today is 12 dpo, or 10 days past a 3 day transfer, and she's getting a pretty pink second line!  Congrats JJ :)   :)   :)

Please keep her in your thoughts for a nice (maybe 3 ;) sticky beans!

Thanks M for the nomination, be back to post later!

Flashback Friday #8

This Flashback Friday is brought to you by...1985.

I thought this was an appropriate post this week since Christmas is just around the corner.  This won't be one of the classic Flashback Friday posts that makes you all nostalgic for the 80s, but rather a funny story about our Christmas tree growing up.  There's nothing like finding out you've been duped while sitting in the middle of kindergarten, drawing your Christmas tree.  I LOOVED pretty much everything about kindergarten, except the part when I peed my pants, but even that day had a pretty awesome silver lining.  That day, I got to play with the wooden blocks that were highly coveted all by myself because no one wanted to play with pee girl. Anyway, that is neither here nor there regarding this post.

I grew up raised by a single mother, my father passed away before I was 2 years old.  There was myself, and my older brother...and our Christmas tree, which was up year round, and during the month of December it would sport some holiday lights.  Our tree was a faux Cherry Blossom tree, strung with lights and ornaments with gifts strewn about below...In kindergarten one day, my teacher asked us all to draw our Christmas trees that we had at home, and me being the over-acheiver that I am, quickly got started on my masterpiece.  The finished product looked like a cross between peach broccoli and cotton candy....NOT at all like all of my classmates' green triangles.  Hmm.. what the?  I remember explaining to my teacher that this was in fact what my tree at home looked like...I remember being embarrassed about it back then, but now that I'm an adult, I am amazed at all my mom was able to pull off as a single parent, much less making a Cherry Blossom Christmas Tree work just as well. I have the best picture of me in front of a perfectly lit Cherry Blossom tree, with the biggest grin on my face...back then I'm sure my mother faced a ton of moments that truly sucked, and I'm happy to say for the most part my brother and I turned out alright.  We struggled and had some difficulties, as does any family...but looking back at that picture of the tree, I'm reminded that everything will be OK, we always "made do" and I am the person I am today as a result.

Sorry this Flashback Friday post isn't as upbeat as usual. Filthy got let go from his job last Monday, which is crap-tastic timing if you ask me.  Pile that on to our fertility struggles and just barely scraping by to make ends meet, it makes it hard to feel warm and fuzzy about the upcoming holiday.  The cards plastered with baby photos and disgustingly adorable family photos are starting to fill our mailbox and its hard to shake that little bit of dread and "lets get Christmas thing over with" feeling.  I'm just hoping that 2012 is our year to celebrate and be full of joy and life because right about now Christmas is feeling more like a chore.  Again, we'll make do.  Bah humbug.  I'll pull the candy cane out of my ass tomorrow...pinky swear.

Challenge Accepted...I'm Back!

Hidey Ho Blog Neighbors!

I'm back...I survived the "Revenge of the Thyroid" as it were, and I'm ready to conversate about irregardless again!

First off, congrats to all the BFPs that have happened since my break! Its so wonderful to read about all the great news.  Wishing you all the happiest of journeys ahead of you---take that infertility!

As for my break, thats done and in the past...I'm trying to move on and it helps not re-hashing it, let's just say I quickly became a statistic to certain doctors, while other doctors weren't listening to me...bad combo.  Some times were pretty dark, and depressing, its crazy what a whacked out thyroid can do to a person.  My resulting body had to start literally from square one in terms of endurance and strength, and when things started to turn for the better, I gladly accepted the challenge.  Lesson learned, you may have the PHD, but I know what my body is telling me.  I'm back at work full time again, and life is good because I'm sleeping again!

Don't get it twisted, life is good, but I will not pass up the chance to rant and rave about the "irregardless" that is all around me.  Right now, I have quite the doozy at work thats just begging for a blog post (more to come later).  For the time being, I gotta run to the store and whip up a treat for our company holiday party tonight...again, so happy to be back..."conversating"again ;o).

Update

Well- I thought I could stay away longer, but it turns out I could really use your support.

Here's the update on me:
I've been overmedicated for my thyroid basically this entire time I've been taking it (all of august) I have a boat load of symptoms- some of which have lessened most of them have not- these symptoms rangin from: anxiety, irritability, insomnia, loss of weight, loss of muscle mass, fatigue, weakness, shortness of breath, heart palpitations the list goes on and on.

I went from being "subclinical hypothyroid" to hyperthyroid in the span of a month. I've been off the pills since sept. 1st and I'm still dealing with horrible insomnia and anxiety. Plus I have the face of a teenager again- full of hormonal acne. I have a medical leave from work to deal with this. I lay here, in bed, in our guest bedroom because filthy snores- which doesn't matter because I've been up since 2am anyway. My systems are in overdrive and I feel pretty helpless. All I can do is wait for my "levels" to readjust. I'm pissed. I'm angry. I'm sad.I'm frustrated. I'm scared. It sucks when you feel like shit and all you can do is wait and trust that what these doctors (the ones who kept telling me to continue the pill till I ended up in the ER) are saying is true- I will feel better but it's going to take some time. And when that time comes around- I get to start off at square one in terms of muscle and endurance. Thanks doctors- thanks for not listening to me that very first week I started these g-d pills when said my heart was racing. They forgot about me, I immediately became a statistic- a number that had to be between 1-2.5. Assholes. I want my life back.

Rant isn't over. Thanks for reading.

Blogging Hiatus...

Hey all...

Had a traumatic 2 weeks, filled with many Dr.'s visits, and 1 ER visit.  + all that together and it = a 4 week medical leave from work.

Taking a much needed break...I might even turn the computer OFF.  

See you in about a month, hopefully rejuvenated, hopefully with better stories to tell.

It's not you...It's...well you...

A break up happened today.  It's been a long time coming. I knew it wasn't right from the start, but I kept thinking, "just maybe".

First impressions are everything, and I should have known better.

Today. I broke up with my Primary Care Physician. I've had it.  Tomorrow, is a new beginning with a younger doctor...hopefully with a skip in her step and stars in her eyes...Hopefully one who can make a decision in my best interest, because, after all she's the one with the medical degree.

-----

Top reasons why it had to end:

the FRONT DESK LADY

I wish you guys could see a video of this lady in action. She's loud. She's obnoxious. She's rude. She narrates EVERYTHING that she types into her little outdated computer.  She SHOUTS your most private information to you, even though you are standing 18 inches away from her greasy face...in a waiting room the size of a shoebox.  She's there 40 hours a week. Monday through Friday. 

it's 2011, RIGHT???

I think I'm going to have a new rule...for my new Doctor.  My personal home office printer, can NOT be nicer than the one in your practice. PERIOD. NO EXCEPTIONS. The only thing my printer does is print up maps for directions, and I barely do that anymore.  Every time I went to the Dr. I felt like Marty Mcfly was going to be in the waiting room with me.  

Wait...aren't YOU the Doctor?

Dear Future Primary Care Physician:  

I have a measly Bachelor's degree for Christ's sakes, don't ask me what I want to do.  Thank you for taking my feelings into consideration, but my medical education/training is all owed to Dr. Google.  So please, lets use the money you spent on your education, and the money I've spent on health insurance, and lets have YOU, the Dr. make the educated decisions from here on out.  At least make me feel like you're working for the money.

I also ask that you take me seriously when I say I'm experiencing side effects. Especially when they are the ones that are listed on the little paper that says "call your Dr. immediately if you experience the follwoing". I'll have you know, I'm an excellent direction follower.  I feel like my requests are simple, and I look forward to figuring out my damn thyroid with you. 

-----

So the end of an era. (Very shortlived) I'm done with Dr. Old School, and I'm hopefully moving on to a doctor (and front desk lady-fingers tightly crossed) that I can be happy with.  

Welcome August ICLWers!

Welcome to my blog!  Have a seat, stay a while...this is my second ICLW!!!  Please check out my other tabs to learn more about me and our journey.  So under the ICLWs  site, I believe I listed that my blog was mainly about the 80s, TTC...we are also dealing with MFI, and subclinical hypothyroidism...  So…without further adieu: 

80s: I'm a kid of the 80s and proud of it! Every friday I try to do a "Flashback Friday" post that has something to do with the 80s, sometimes its toys, sometimes its food...  I got the idea from my local radio station. Every friday they play music from the 80s in the morning, and it makes me so happy on my way to work :) Lately I've been pretty bad about posting on Fridays, but I'll try try try to be better :). 

TTC/MFI: Yup, thats us, we're trying to conceive…and failing as of yet. Which sucks, I hate failing, and I refuse! But some higher being as a different plan, so try try again for now.  DH is 33, and I am 31. I had been on birth control for about 10 years and thought for sure (like everyone else) we'd be knocked up in no time.  Fast forward to a year + plus later, and still no baby. Well, no human baby at least.  We've got the best furbaby around…no really, she is the best :)  Right now we're on track for IVF in the next coming months. We're waiting to get my TSH number to a satisfactory level, I've been on levothyroxine for over 2 weeks now.  DH just got diagnosed with "microdeletion of the Y chromosome", but luckily he's still producing some sperm. On wednesday he goes in to freeze a second sample (2nd of 3) to have as backup for our IVF cycle.  We were initially shooting for Sept. IVF but it looks like my TSH bloodtest results won't be in, in time.  So far I've had a hell of a time with the thyroid pills and adjusting to the side effects, still waiting for my horomones to balance out I guess.  

We're pretty laid back as a couple, and we thought we did everything in the right, logical order: education, career, house, finances, living as a couple and enjoying life just being "us" and then, when we decide to pull the trigger and start a family, things didn't fall into place as we expected them to.  You never expect for life to be like this. There are good days and bad, and on the bad days I like to go around reading blogs because lets face it, misery loves company, and sometimes, my real world is far to full of fertiles and precious grandchildren.  

I had issues with coming up with a name for my blog.  I didn't want it to strictly be about TTC, but lets face it, its a pretty big deal in our lives right now.  If you decide to stick around and be my friend, I'm warning you now, I tend to be a smart a$$, so consider yourself forewarned.  I like to talk about random things, pet peeves and so on.  One of the biggest for me is when people use the word irregardless…I've had big arguments about this!  I've got a few other "non-words" that I hear every now and then that make my skin crawl.  So I figured, hell, I'm not writing about anything earth shattering, and this is basically just a place for me to vent when everyone is tired of listening, so screw it: Let's Conversate About Irregardless. Ha. makes no sense, and is absolutely wrong, but its mine and I love it.  

Thanks for stopping by and reading my ramblings, I promise things will get juicer once we delve further into this whole TTC process (lets hope b/c I'm not getting any younger).  If you're struggling for a comment to leave, I'll throw you a bone: What are some of your favorite "non-words"?  Happy ICLW

Flashback Friday #7

OK 80s lovers....I want to hear your thoughts on todays Flashback Friday....I've had a lot on my mind lately...Thyroid crap, IVF crap, baby showers here, baptisms there, visiting friends in the hospital who seem to be "built" for reproducing. So, with that said, lets finish out the week with this little nugget, just to finish out the week with a baby bang.

OK OK, who owned 1 (or more) of these?!!!  I loved mine, she was adorable, she looked just like this one, except her dress was a green and white plaid.  I don't remember what her name was though, and funny enough, I don't really remember much about the Cabbage Patch Kids other than the fact that I had one. I remember her arms and legs were cloth-like, but she had a hard face...and an outie belly button.  So, because of my lack of Cabbage Patch knowledge sufficient enough to do an adequate flashback friday post, I turned to Wikipedia.  This is what I learned..

"Xavier Roberts was created as a ten year old boy who discovered the Cabbage Patch Kids by following a BunnyBee behind a waterfall into a magical valley, where he found the Cabbage Patch babies being born. To keep them from falling into the clutches of the evil Lavendar McDade (and being enslaved in her gold mine), he sought to get them adopted into the homes of loving families outside of Mount Yonah."


Did I read that correctly? How am I now 31, just learning that these babies were actually being born in a freakin' cabbage patch.  Wow, I should have taken better care of her.  Poor thing.  I guess I just had the doll, and never knew the story behind them.  Duh, I guess it makes sense now, Cabbage Patch Kids.  


Happy Flashback Friday!

Whoa...

I just re-read my last post, boy was I freaking out.

I blame my thyroid pills. The aforementioned "freak out" came coincidentally when I started popping those pills.  Rapid heart beat in the morning, anxiety throughout the day, along with feeling short of breath plagued me all week.  I thought I had to "power through" this initial rough patch of introducing this horomone into my body.  Another day of palpitations, and shortness of breath and anxiety passed so I called my primary Dr. (from now on will be Dr. Old School because her office is in need of a MAJOR update, but...I digress) Anyway here's how the conversation went:

Me: Hi Dr. Old School, I've been taking the pills that you prescribed for my thyroid and I didn't know if it was normal for me to feel anxious and short of breath, I feel ramped up all day long.

Dr. Old School: Hmm..that's weird because its such a low dose, I didn't think you would feel anything.

Me: Yeah, well, in the mornings when I'm lying in bed my heart races until I get up, when I'm moving I feel OK, but when I slow down I feel really short of breath and I feel anxious all day long.

Dr. Old School: Yeah, it shouldn't be that way, its such a low dose.

(BTW this conversation is totally helping my anxiety- great so now I'm crazy? awesome...just awesome...I read the paper, you know that dreaded side effect paper that comes in your pill baggie!!! It said right there, NOTIFY your DR. if you experience the following...its not like I was calling here to tell her I was shitting puppies, because shitting puppies was not on the side effect list, but rapid heart beat and g-d shortness of breath were...)

Me: So....

Dr. Old School: Well, are you taking the pills correctly?

(Oh I'm not supposed to shove them up my butt? Oh, glad I called.)

Me: yes, in the morning on an empty stomach and waiting and hour to eat.

Dr. Old School:  ...I guess you can take half for a couple of days to see how you feel, or try taking them at night.

(Are you kidding me? I feel like I can alphabetize a library during the day when I'm on these, I'm not jacking up my sleep by taking these evil things at night!)

Dr. Old School: But its such a low dose this shouldn't be happening.

(At this point I want to go ape-shit on her...I don't care what "should" and "shouldn't" be happening...I'm  calling you to tell you what IS happening.)

Me: Ok I'll figure it out.

So, I took a whole pill every morning for a week, and showed no improvement of side effects.  I went to my normal yoga class and failed to do some poses because I didn't have the breath to get into them.  Well...how the hell am I supposed to *relax* if I can't breath. Riddle me that Dr. Old School.  I halved my dose for the past 2 days, and I feel a little more like myself, a little less ramped up. I have a sneaky suspicion that I was experiencing hyperthyroid symptoms and it was b/c of the medication.  She'll probably tell me that it shouldn't have happened though.

In other news, to keep my mind off of my impending doom that had been planted in my head throughout the week...I made these burp cloths and cute Giants beannie for a shower I'm going to today!

Yikes. Quick Post.

Hi All,

No time for a long drawn out, smart ass post.  Why? I'm going crazy and I am ridden with anxiety.  IVF is on the horizon for September, and I guess my body is telling me it's nervous about it. Funny because I was excited until now.  A few days ago I finished a 10-day course of antibiotics to cure a bacterial infection (needed to get that all cleared for IVF) and also a few days ago I started taking 25 mcgs of Levothyroxine to get my thyroid under control (also for IVF).  We haven't even started the damn protocol yet and I'm freaking out. What. the. hell. is. wrong. with. me.

Symptoms: feeling short of breath, feeling like a my throat is swollen and I'm not getting enough oxygen, feeling like I'm breathing funny...I know that my thyroid pills aren't the cause of this, I know its anxiety, so why the F can't I shake it?

Who Me? Thanks!

So, about a month ago, Lissie, from Lissie's Luck gave me the Versatile Blogger Award...and about a month ago, I pinky swore I'd do a post about it the next day. Well Lissie, you were bound to find out sooner or later, I'm a flake.  Versatile, but a flake.  :) Hope you'll forgive me!

The rules:

A) Grab the award...yup.

B) Link back to the person who gave it to you....yup.

C) Share 10 things about yourself:  Here goes nothin'..

1. I hate elevators. Always have, always will. I will ride them if its a must- but only with other people- I could get stuck in there by myself, FFS! (see # 4 below) Once I got stuck in an elevator with a friend (thankfully) and though it probably only lasted for less than 5 minutes, it was enough time for extreme panic to set in.

2. I'm a retail designer for a beautiful store... Yet our house is in constant disarray- my sheets hardly ever coordinate. So sad.

3.  I hate all watermelon flavored candy. Watermelon jolly ranchers are the worst!

4. FFS is my favorite abbreviation. Better than OMG, LOL, LMAO even STFU...I hardly use the others since I'm not a "tween" - but FFS I could definitely get down with. (For Fucks Sake) -yeah, I said it.

5. I'm notorious for starting crafts and not finishing them. I have enough yarn to crochet a cozy the size of our house. (hmmm Etsy???)

6. I've been chased by a woman 3x my size down the streets in Berkeley, CA.  I was sure I pissed her off by something I had said, turned out she was chasing me to apologize.

7. I never learned how to swim and it's embarrassing.  This shall not travel outside the world wide web.

8. I make a MEAN deviled egg.

9. I looove fountain Pepsi with tiny crushed ice in a paper cup. (Um, have you guys had the throwback Pepsi with real sugar? so good.)

10. I went to a private Catholic school for K-highschool. In highschool, we had a "marriage" class where we learned about the sacrament of Marriage. For 1 week during the semester, I was paired up with a classmate and we were "husband and wife" and we had to raise and take care of a baby (a.k.a. sack of flour). We got to pick out of a hat if we had a boy, girl, twins etc. Guess what I drew? I picked infertile. I didn't even get a flour sack baby in highschool.

D) Award 15 recently discovered blogs:

Bun(less) In the Oven

TTC Baby E

Colours of Cattiz

Hearts Joined, Hands Fast

Infertility Sucks - Inside Look at Endometriosis

It's Just Us Chickens

Not Exactly What I Had Planned...

Sprout

The Road Less Traveled

OK, I know, thats not 15, but these were among my "recently discovered" blogs... :)  Thanks again Lissie!

Random. Acts. of Kindness.

Dear world wide blogweb. I'm sorry for my lack of posts of late- I hope I can make it up to you. Life got busy, and as a result my blog suffered. I hope you forgive me.

This flashback Fridays post will be postponed because finally- yes FINALLY- we have TTC news to report. Bear with me, this will be a long one (perhaps making up for my absence :) ) and probably not as snarky as you all might crave - don't fret, the snark shall continue...I'm *almost* positive.

So it's been a while... I've been busy not blogging. I've been busy acting like we're not trying but secretly hoping. I've been busy exercising and practicing yoga to make sense of it all.

Today was a good day, dare I say a great day. Sometimes the universe shits on you only to smile on you another day.

Go back with me to 4th of July weekend- Filthy (Dear Hubby in the future will from here in out be referred to as Filthy-short for Filthy McNasty, his bowling name...lol I don't want to jeopardize his identity!). Filthy and I go to a local rodeo to celebrate Independence Day. Jealous?, you should be, it was fun! First things first, we had to handle business at the rodeo, beer & hotdogs in that order needed to be consumed. Beer in hand we waited for our weenies. As fate would have it, Filthy's ex-coworker, let's call him Buck (haha because I can) was also waiting for a hotdog right in front of us. Buck and his wife had tried for 6 years to have a baby before they were successful with IVF. Buck gushed about their Dr.(let's call him Dr. Kind) and I was immediately envious. He recommended we go to Dr. Kind, I wanted to get our hotdogs and talk about treatments all night! I forgot we were at a rodeo, of all things, and their was mutton bustin' that needed to be enjoyed!  

We got Buck's info, and when we returned to our "seats", it was all I could do to not google this Dr. Kind on my phone. On the way home, we decided that we were tired of being jerked around by doctors who didn't really seem to care, or have ANY sort of urgency about the fact that we are having a problem conceiving. Buck and his wife really liked Dr. Kind, so let's try and work with him. That following tuesday I called Dr. Kind's office and told the lady on the phone, our ultimate goal is to work with Dr. Kind, how do we make that a reality?  She scheduled an IVF consultation appointment for the following Friday. Really? These other doctors have been giving us the run around, I tell this lady we want to work with Dr. Kind, she says come in next Friday. So far so good.

So the big Friday arrives, and I'm so nervous I want to puke. I spend the morning on the phone with my insurance, making sure I have a clear understanding of what's covered. (which this will be another post but my coverage is ridiculous  in a good way). Then I'm running around making sure we have all the lab results/ semen analyses bbt charts oh my! to show Dr. Kind. I have no idea what to expect from this appt. Am I going to get dildoed? Are we going to have blood drawn? Who knows?  

We first met with the IVF case manager who is an RN. Typically you meet with the Dr. first but he was running a little behind. The case manager was extremely nice and thorouh. We looked at a sample calendar of how things would flow. She gave us a stack of consent forms to sign if we decide to do it. At the end she said she was also a patient of Dr. Kind, her daughter is now 4 years old, she also has a 1 year old son, who was frozen for 2 years!  She gushed about Dr. Kind as much as Buck. I tried to remain level headed before actually meeting him- who knows, the chemistry might not be there, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't already excited to be working with him.

Next is Dr. Kind. He's small in stature and very pleasant. This place is out of our net-work so basically they know nothing about us. He asked us what are we working with, and we tell him low sperm count. I show him the semen analyses ( all 3 done were roughly the same ) and he looks at us and says yes, you'll need IVF with ICSI. He was very compassionate which was new for us. He told us to not get stuck on the sperm number, that he's worked with as little as 7 sperm (yes 7, as in 1.2.3.4.5.6.7). He wants Filthy to do 2 chromosome tests (Karotype & Microdeletion of Y chromosome) before we start and in the meantime, while we're waiting for those results, he wants Filthy to come in and give about 3 sperm samples to freeze just to cover our asses in case come game time he has none.  There are a few more tests that need to be completed, but this sounds like our only alternative and Dr. Kind really put our minds at ease.  So...the ball is rolling now I guess!

So, what was a great visit, became a legen...(wait for it, anyone?, How I Met Your Mother)...dary visit was what Dr. Kind did next.  Filthy and I had just finished up w/ the accountant, going over a price list, and we ran into him on our way out, thanked him again for meeting us, as I say to Filthy, "I wonder where we pay" (the consultation was going to run us $300)...Dr. Kind apparently overheard me, got our attention, and said "Just go" and shooed us out of the office.  I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped and we both replied, "what?" and Dr. Kind said "go on, its OK, just go, don't worry about it".  HOLY SHIT, am I dreaming?  I had to desperately go pee, so I told Filthy I'd meet him in the parking lot for fear someone would know we just got lucky.  As I was in the bathroom, I practically welled up in tears on the toilet!  I thought, pull it together for Christ's sake, I'm not even shot up with horomones yet!!!  It was just so extremely nice of Dr. Kind, things finally seem to be going our way.  (If you consider, IVF is your only option "going your way").  I peed as fast as I could, stuck my head out of the bathroom as if I was on some secret spy mission, and away Filthy and I went. Free IVF consultation, with a great IVF team. 

It was a total random act of kindness, and what's funny is on the way to the appointment that's what they were talking about on the radio as we pulled into the parking lot.  I remember them asking, what can you do, that would be a random act of kindness.  Dr. Kind did that for us, and it meant so much.  This post has been a week in the works because I haven't had time to sit and jot it all down. I remember thinking that day, I need to pay this forward, and do something kind unto someone else.  It's been a week and I haven't yet- it definitely won't be as off the charts as Dr. Kind's, but I'll keep my eyes and ears open for an opportunity.  Thanks readers for sticking with me even though I haven't posted lately!!! I challenge you all to do a random act of kindness for someone~maybe they'll feel the urge to do the same :) Happy Friday. 

Flashback Friday #6

Big Money, NO Whammies!!!!

Flashback Friday #6 is brought to you by the 80s game show: Press Your Luck.  I thought this would be an appropriate end to the month of June, AKA the month of whammies.  I totally forgot about this show, until I sat down to do my Flashback Friday post, reflecting on our luck as of late.  

For those of you who don't recall the show, boy did you miss you miss out :)  It is not for the feint of heart.  If I remember correctly, it was a question/answer game.  If you got a question right (buzzing in) you got to spin the board that would light up around your face on TV.  On the board were different squares, some with prizes and "big money", and some with the dreaded Whammy! If you landed on the money or the prize, it went to you and I think you got it in the end if you collected the most, BUT if you landed on a Whammy, too bad so sad...he steals all your prizes and money.  My favorite part was the cartoon of the Whammy coming across the screen to take your loot.  Stupid Whammy.  I enjoyed watching the light go around the board at home yelling "STOP!" as if I were playing too.  The contestant selecting would have their face in the middle for added drama, and often times they would be chanting "Big money, big money, no whammies.....STOP!" hahahaha

Maybe my mantra for July will be exactly that...but I guess I wouldn't be sticking to the true meaning of "mantra" if I'm seeking "earthly pleasures" like money and prizes...hmm..."Baby, Baby, no whammies" - I guess that has a nice ring to it.  Happy Flashback Friday!

*** Lissie at Lissie's Luck gave me "The Versitile Blogger Award" Thanks Lissie, its my first!!! I'll do a post on that tomorrow, pinky swear.***

Really?!!!

Taking all guesses as to what the heck this is... A new tool promised to increase fertility? No.  A canteen? Nope....A whistle made for the likes of Hagrid? Close, but no.  

Sorry I've been missing in blog-world for the past week or so.  We've been dealing with the suck-storm (insert appropriate S-word) centered around this hunk of metal above since Thursday.  This my friends, is a Catalytic Converter...I don't know much about it, but I do know that if it gets cut  stolen out from under your car, it will then sound like 30 Harleys on 'roids when you start and proceed to drive it.  I know this because it happened to my car on Thursday last week, while I was at work.  

Here's how it all broke (ha ha get it? broke ..) down: (I can laugh now because its now sitting in the garage fixed).

• I return to my car after a long day of schlepping furniture and playing design fairy.  It's summer in the California central valley and it is HOT.  All I want to do is get in the car and blast the AC.  I start the car and it sounds AND feels like my car turned has into a Harley and I have a big loud cartoon-like flame blowing out from under the car under my seat.  My car has indigestion, and I don't know why.  Like it was a bad dream, I stop the car and restart it, thinking surely it must have been the way I turned the key (hopefully?) Negative Ghostwriter, my car is prime-time F-d. 
•  Luckily, someone was with me that new about cars.  He immediately got on the ground and noticed that the Catalytic Converter had been CUT out from underneath my car. Cut and stolen. One and done.  I didn't know what the heck I was looking for, but I got on the floor to take a peek, and there was obviously something missing.  
• I get mad, pissed, frustrated, angry and... a potty mouth.
• Enter mall security (history: I work at a mall, oh the stories I can tell), Enter police.
• Policeman takes my info, enters it in, comes back and gives me a Case#. I ask what my odds are, he replies "Odds? There are none".  He explains further that it took the person that did this less than 2 minutes to cut it out and unless they catch him/her in the act of doing it, or randomly pull over a vehicle with 40 Catalytic Converters in it, they'll keep getting away with it.  
• Drum Roll Please:   This bastard will likely get $40 for my Catalytic Converter.  When the cop told me that, I immediately said "F*&^, I'd leave them a $100 bill to leave my F*&*%$# car alone".  I told you. Potty. Mouth. I immediately looked at the officer and apologized out of some ridiculous fear that I could be cuffed for having the mouth of a sailor.  

The night ended with my DH and I having a very manic case of the Charlie Browns, as I like to call it. We were over analyzing our next steps.  We were cursing the Universe for continually shitting on us.  Is it too much to ask for some fertility Universe? Fine.. if you can't grant us that, could you please, for the love of whatever it is that rules you, please don't F-with our car, so that we can go to work, make the money we need to pay for the likely IVF you'll make us do...and oh yeah, we'd like to be able to use that car to drive to the treatment.

Fast forward to now, the drama has subsided. The car is fixed ($440 later), safely in the garage until we figure out how to prevent this from happening again.

Welcome June ICLWers!

Welcome to my blog!  Have a seat, stay a while...this is my first ICLW and I'm not really sure where to start!!! I haven't had the time to do an "about me" section yet, but if you scroll to older posts I did do an ABCs on my fertility.  So under the ICLWs  site, I believe I listed that my blog was mainly about the 80s, TTC, and MFI.  So…without further adieu: 

80s: I'm a kid of the 80s and proud of it! Every friday I try to do a "Flashback Friday" post that has something to do with the 80s, sometimes its toys, sometimes its food, (actually twice it has been!), maybe this week will be music!  I got the idea from my local radio station. Every friday they play music from the 80s in the morning, and it makes me so happy going to work :) Lately its been the one consistent thing I can blog about because our TTC road is moving along at a slow place (more to follow). 

TTC/MFI: Yup, thats us, we're trying to conceive…and failing as of yet. Which sucks, I hate failing, and I refuse! But some higher being as a different plan, so try try again for now.  DH is 33, and I am 30 (steadily approaching 31..barf) I had been on birth control for about 10 years and thought for sure (like everyone else) we'd be knocked up in no time.  Fast forward to a year later, and still no baby. Well, no human baby at least.  We've got the best furbaby around…no really, she is the best :)  So far we're still waiting to see if I am Hypothyroid (waiting on a second bloodiest) and Monday June 20 is DH's 3rd semen analysis.  All in all it seems as if we're battling male factor infertility.

We're pretty laid back as a couple, and we thought we did everything in the right, logical order: education, career, house, finances, living as a couple and enjoying life just being "us" and then, when we decide to pull the trigger and start a family, things didn't fall into place as we expected them to.  You never expect for life to be like this. There are good days and bad, and on the bad days I like to go around reading blogs because lets face it, misery loves company, and sometimes, my real world is far to full of fertiles and precious grandchildren.  

I had issues with coming up with a name for my blog.  I didn't want it to strictly be about TTC, but lets face it, its a pretty big deal in our lives right now.  If you decide to stick around and be my friend, I'm warning you now, I tend to be a smart a$$, so consider yourself forewarned.  I like to talk about random things, pet peeves and so on.  One of the biggest for me is when people use the word irregardless…I've had big arguments about this!  I've got a few other "non-words" that I hear every now and then that make my skin crawl.  So I figured, hell, I'm not writing about anything earth shattering, and this is basically just a place for me to vent when everyone is tired of listening, so screw it: Let's Conversate About Irregardless. Ha. makes no sense, and is absolutely wrong, but its mine and I love it.  

Thanks for stopping by and reading my ramblings, I promise things will get juicer once we delve further into this whole TTC process (lets hope b/c I'm not getting any younger).  If you're struggling for a comment to leave, I'll throw you a bone: What are some of your favorite "non-words"?  Happy ICLW

Flashback Friday #5

It's the late edition of Flashback Friday!!! Sorry, it's been a hectic week, but I've come up with an appropriate item for today's Flashback Friday since the weather is finally warming up here on west coast!!! We went from winter to summer all in one month.  How many of you remember New York Seltzer?!  I used to LOVE these drinks. I loved everything about them, the little glass blottle, the picture of the NY skyline on the thin foam label that was fun to rip off, and sadly, they just disappeared. I remember black cherry and raspberry being particularly tasty.  Nowadays its redbull this and rockstar that. Barf. Bring back New York Seltzer!

The other drink thats a flashback is: SqueezIt!

It's definitely no New York Seltzer, but it's totally 80s! Bottoms up ~ Happy Flashback Friday!

Hurry Up and Wait...

This past monday, DH and I had the appointments we've been waiting for.  DH had his 1st appointment with a Urologist to discuss the previous 2 semen analyses. I had an appointment to further determine if I am in fact Hypothyroid.  DH got the referral for the Urologist back in April...for a June appointment.  I put off my thyroid appointment for the same day so that I could just take the whole day off work. What were the results at the end of the day?? DH has to do a 3rd analysis since the first 2 were from the same "crop"...and my thyroid results were "borderline" but not enough to warrant my Dr. to prescribe me anything just yet, especially because she said all other blood work came back normal, with normal ovulation.  I have to go back in, get my TSH re-tested (she said sometimes things are off) and she also requested I get tested for an antibody that would predispose me to being hypothyroid. If I test positive for that antibody, then it's possible that we're catching it early and then I would start medication.  So all in all, we did a lot of waiting, to hurry up and wait some more.  I'm thinking its going to be more of the same from here on out.

So...DH 3rd analysis June 20
I go in Monday June 13 after work for a repeat bloodtest (TSH) and antibody test

Flashback Friday #4

Nooney Nooney Noo….  C'mon, say it out loud...do you remember what I'm talking about?  It's the rolling typewriter from Sesame Street!!! He would squeak into frame, and teach us the alphabet, 1 letter at a time.  For whatever reason, I loved it…some of you might remember him, some may not, I tried researching it more for this post, and it seems as if this poor guy never had an official name :(  

This video clip is of the letter "M", as in Magic.  

I'm a believer in magic, why not.   Happy Flashback Friday… Nooney Nooney Noo…. :)

Blogging Training Wheels

Looks like they fell off!! I was trying to add labels to my previous posts, and I somehow managed to list my post about what I do for a living as the most recent....sorry I don't know how to fix that!  I'm also still trying to figure out how to do an about me section, so please bear with me.  This will be a short post for now, just to clarify why that post looks like its new,  it's not...same old post.

I'll update soon about the appointments we had today, but in a nutshell they sucked in terms of gaining information.

I'm A Merchandiser

So, a little about what I do...I'm a Store Designer for a nation-wide housewares/furniture retailer.  I'm like the store fairy. I come in before we open and flip things around all day long trying to generate sales.  I do the windows, the floorplan, design all the displays within the store that are constantly changing.  I can set a Thanksgiving Table that will blow your mind. :) and come Christmas, well, I turn into an elf and I'm covered in glitter for 3 months straight.

I love that I get to be creative each day I come to work, and it's great not sitting at a desk all day in front of a computer. The downside? The lovely PUBLIC.  I like to think that because I'm doing the displays that I'm invisible to customers, too bad I'm not.  My favorite is when I'm standing on top of a ladder hanging something ridiculously too large for someone my size to be even carrying and getting asked "Do you work here?"---Ahh...if I had a dollar.

Here's a funny video that is about a Fashion Merchandiser...although I'm not in fashion, the cartoon speaks a lot to how the conversation goes when people ask me what I do for a living.  If you get offended by language, well, consider yourself warned, but its kinda OK because they're cute cartoons =)

And yes...I do stand on things I often should not be standing on...(like everyday)...and yes, I do hurt myself a lot, probably because I'm usually standing on things I shouldn't be standing on.

Resolution...

June is just as good as January for resolutions, right?  Agreed.  So, I figured, if I blog about it, I'll hold my self to it, right?  It's June, and out here in California, the weather has been crap.  Summer is postponed, which is good if you want to get your bikini body on.  Don't worry, you won't see me on Facebook in my bikini and heels standing in a wading pool in Vegas with a cocktail (sorry if that's your thing, its just not mine...) but I guess if I can't get knocked up and all my friends are busy being moms and or being knocked up...well, I might as well get ripped. OK...I've never been "ripped" nor will I even probably get "ripped", but I'd like to try.  I just need motivation, and making other people around me jealous just might do the trick. How awful is that?  How awful is it that I don't care?! haha.  OK so I'm gonna get back on the saddle again...running, a little P90x here and there for the strength training, and some good ol' juicy yoga.

Me and these little bad boys are gonna hit the pavement now, I've gotta start somewhere.  Baby steps, right?

Flashback Friday #3

I thought that this would be an appropriate Flashback Friday item.  Imagine being able to stop time by putting your index fingers together… That would make this whole stupid TTC business far less stressful. We could freeze time…tap hubby to "un-freeze" him and handle business…we could even tap an RE and everyone needed to help us make a baby damn it! I'm talking about the 80s TV Show called: Out of this World

For those unfamiliar, Evie was the main character. She pointed her to index fingers together to "freeze" time. I think she's half alien (and quite honestly, who doesn't feel half alien, when you can't do what women have done since the dawn of man)…she talks to her dad (alien) in this cube-ish type thing on her nightstand.  To un-freeze time, she claps her hands. Ah…if only.  

And for the record….I think the name Evie is an ugly name, I would never name my daughter that.  (See what I did right there, makin' ya think!) LOL. Happy Flashback Friday

ABC...

Hello blog-world! Sorry I've been absent...I even missed a Flashback Friday :(  To make it up to my handful of followers, I thought I'd fill you in on my own ABCs of Infertility... (Since I've been putting off writing up an "About Me" section)

I found this on one of the blogs I read...but unfortunately, I can't remember which one, so I can't give credit!!!

A. Age when you started TTC:  29…Had I had known then what I know now, I would have started at 25!!! 

B.  Baby Dancing or Sex:  Sex…DH likes to call it bumping uglies.  Guess it depends on the mood!  

C.  Children wanted:  1 healthy bouncing baby would mean the world and then some.  

D.  Dogs/Cats:  1 Jack Russell with the personality/energy of about 7 dogs rolled into one. She's the best!

E.  Essential Oils/Vitamins/Snake Oils:  Snake oils? Haven't gone there yet. Just pre-natals.

F.  Fertility Meds I have taken: None yet.

G.  Gain:  Weight…fluctuates slightly if at all. 

H.  HSG (Hystosalpingogram):  I have the paperwork to get it done, haven't yet decided to pull the trigger,  waiting for more insight into DHs urologist appt.  

I. Infertile Pet Peeves:  Fertile myrtles getting pregnant when its "not a good time".  Figure out how NOT to get pregnant- I did it for years, you can too.

J.  Job title: Store Designer (Furniture, Housewares Retailer)

K.  Kid's names you're afraid will be taken by the time you use them:  Hush. If I type it someone I undoubtedly know will steal it. So mums the word. 

L:  Length of time trying to conceive:  eh…a year ish? (totally scientific) 

M.  Miscarriages:  No.  What a nightmare.

N.  Number of times you switched OB/GYNs, REs, FSs:  so far just once…my original Gyn, switched and is no under different coverage.

O. Ovarian quality:  Good? Good as far as bloodwork is concerned. Thats pretty much all I know so far. 

P.  POAS or waiting for AF:  The longer it takes the more I don't want to POAS.

Q.  Quote from an obnoxious fertile:  Have you tried an Ovulation Predictor Kit? … or…. "Take it from someone whose *actually* been there…"  (it gets me heated just thinking about it).  This might require an answer in another new post.

S.  Sperm:  Waiting on a possible 3rd SA.  Low in all 3 categories. 

T.  Time you tried naturally:  year- ish..

U.  Uterus quality: OK? Will know more after I get my @$$ in gear and get the HSG…so far all i know is that I'm retro-verted.  Of course, because why the hell not be. 

V.  Vagina: check.

W.  What baby stuff do you already have:  the baby stuff that got dumped on us a year ago recently sold at a garage sale, they jinxed us!

X:  X-tra, XX-tra, read all about it, how many people know about your crazy TTC journey:  A few close friends, and very little family…and the world wide web.

Y.  Yearly exam:  Of course, every year, like clock work.

Z.  Zits:  zits? who me? well yea, occasionally. 

And there you have it.  I pinky promise I won't wait so long in between posts next time! 

Flashback Friday #2

I live in California, so I'm pretty accustomed to sunny fair weather, so I feel bad when I complain about rain.  Well, I feel bad, but not bad enough to not complain! The beginning of this week sucked! It was rainy and cold…but oh happy day, the sun came out to play later in the week, which brings me to the subject of Flashback Friday #2…

The Snoopy Sno Cone Machine!!! 

I looooved Snoopy growing up, and I loooooved my sno cone machine!  To this day, I still sleep with my Snoopy stuffed animal when I'm sick…sad, right?!  I never really liked eating the sno cones, just making them.  It hindsight, I should have had a Snoopy sno cone stand, THAT would have been fun.  Instead, I had a lemonade stand, I charged .25 cents a cup, I vaguely remember not eating a lot of my halloween candy and selling it for .5 cents a piece at my lemonade stand :)  Funny that I work in retail now.  

Whoa. I want this. 

I was just looking for a Snoopy Sno Cone Machine pic to link to and found this! I had a Mickey Mouse one growing up, but this one is pretty awesome. How cute!

What were some of your favorite childhood cartoon characters? Happy Flashback Friday Followers :)

Ooo on the TTC tip...

OK, So I haven't really blogged much about TTC.  I don't really have much time to get into our history just yet, so I apologize but this is gonna be brief.

I had CD3 labs done last week, and the results are in!  Everything looks normal EXCEPT I could suffer from hypothyroidism.  My T4 counts were normal, but my TSH was high, so thats why my Dr. said its a possibility and now I have to go in and get more tests done by my primary dr. (of which I have to scout out another because mine left to Kaiser).  I'm trying to not freak about about it because its not confirmed yet, and from what it sounds like its easily treatable. (Shout out to the girls at 2ww ;) Good news is all the lady stuff sounds fine. I also received the paperwork to go and get an HSG done.  My Dr. means business! So at some point I need to get that done too.

I promise my next post will be more exciting.  Flashback Friday is coming up!

Flashback Friday #1

Friday...you're here! I love you so much! I wait for you all week, and when you're here I'm soooo happy!  :)

On Fridays on my way to work, the radio has "Flashback Fridays" when they play a bunch of songs from the 80s.  So, join me as I pay tribute to Flashback Friday! Instead of being a DJ, we can reminisce about rad things from the 80s that are now long gone....for instance...Jello Pudding Pops.

Whatever happened to these? They were so delicious....far superior to Fudgesicles.  Every now and then, I crave one of these and nothing out there tastes like them.  OK, after some thought, these might not be just from the 80s, but you get the idea :) They're gone, and I miss them.

Hello to my little tribe of followers, I promise you, one day I'll up my game and blog about more important things, but for now, its about pudding pops...maybe something more riveting will come up this weekend :) Then again, maybe not, thanks for reading anyway though!

So....

My first post. How stressful. I thought I had so much to say, but now that I have a little box to type it in, I'm at a loss for words.

So..... Let's conversate about irregardless.  I struggled with a title for my new fancy blog.  Did I want it to be about TTC? Not really, but it probably will be.  This blog will be about silly things such as how words like conversate and irregardless...or should I say "words" like conversate and irregardless drive me bananas.  I'm a little irked that as I type this, Blogger isn't flagging me that irregardless is wrong by underlining it, but conversate is.

I can't believe this is my first step into the blog-world.  It is my blog though, and this is me, I'm a smart a$$.  Can I type ass? I guess I can. Smart a$$ makes me look like a baller. I don't know if that jives with my TTC slant.

Long story short, hello bloggers & blog readers...I end my first post with some famous lyrics from Biggie:

"let’s conversate for a few.. cause in a few.. we gon’ do... what we came to do.. ain’t the right, boo?" 


All together now.. "true"  haha. If you're not a Big Poppa fan, then well, I assure you that was clever ;)


For some reason conversate in a rap song does NOT drive me bananas.  I think I'm going to like my new blog. (For the record I didn't go into this 1st post thinking baller or biggie would come up, but it did...warning - this could get pretty random)